Here's $20

On a recent trip, my friend Fifi and I were having one of those late lunches sitting at a bar with a cute bartender anticipating our every need where you have less than an hour to catch up on the past 2 years and you spend the entire time talking so fast and bouncing around from topic to topic in a way where you both are so on and orchestrated that it almost feels like you have memorized and rehearsed a script and are just playing it out for the final cut. You know those?

Now, I think you can call yourself brilliant once a month and that still keeps you in the confident, not conceited category. Well, Fifi was brilliant.

We were talking about people that need advice. The kind no one will give them. And she posed the idea of how philanthropic it would be to actually give them that advice, and to soften the blow you give them $20. It's like charity! "Here's $20. You drink too much." "Here's $20. Everyone around you isn't stupid/lazy/unreasonable. You are." "Here's $20. You are lucky to have her and you will never get anyone better. Marry her." At the time, this sounded much more brilliant.

Well, not a week later, I'm having dinner with 2 of my best girlfriends. And we decide that we are some of the most together and brilliant people we know. And wondered aloud if people would actually pay us to help them become awesome too. See why they are some of my best girlfriends?

I get that at this point I'm paying the $20 and I'm pondering getting people to pay me, so I'm back at ZERO. But humor me. In less than a week, 3 brilliant girlfriends and I had conversations about how we can save the world one person at a time by just speaking the truth. Obviously this is a need.

What am I going to do about it? I don't know yet. But stay tuned...

...QueenB Says

Working It Out

As I posted last week, I've been sick. Two weeks of recuperating from a cold and bronchitis meant no working out. I was pretty good at not beating myself up because of it. So, let's call that a success in treating myself well and having perspective, don't you think?

Well, it did give me a chance to pay attention to how I feel when I work out and how different I feel when I don't work out. Here's what I noticed:

• I sleep remarkably better when I work out.
• I need more sleep. Shockingly, about 2.5 hours more.
• I worry much less about what I eat when I work out. Duh, right? But I crave about 500-800 calories more and I still don't worry.
• I do not have any aches or pains when I work out. Whether I'm sitting in my chair at work, the couch at night, or in my bed, I get no back pain or hip pain or that weird foot cramp I kept getting when I didn't work out.
• My mornings feel more rushed when I don't work out, which seems odd since I do it in the morning. Must be the planning that goes into it or the endorphins.
• My days, even though they have been equally as busy and planned, feel much less overwhelming when I work out.

I can hear the cynical ones now: this is comparing your sick self to your well self. Could be. My question is: what if all of the above, all of the things that make me physically and mentally better, are because of working out? What if they are the cause? I'd bet they are. At least a high percentage of of the cause. But I figure I enjoy my daily routine of aerobic and anaerobic exercise so much, it doesn't matter why I feel better. I just do.

And the side effects are not the heinous things you hear recited at the end of pharmaceutical commercials. They are things like, weight maintenance, muscle tone, better lung capacity, cholesterol control, heart health. Look good and feel good? I'll take it...

...QueenB Says

Taste of My Own Medicine

I have blogged about balance and priorities and health and taking good care of yourself incessantly. I guess I need to take my own advice.

I got a cold last Sunday, the kind where you are achy and have a fever and basically feel miserable. I worked sick every day, I came home sick every day, and I sleeping sick was the worst! After 6 days of this, I went back to the doctor and was diagnosed with bronchitis. That I got because I didn’t take care of my cold. I spent the weekend as a ghost of myself. I set up the guest room as my sick room and only came out a few hours here or there to basically sit quietly on the couch.

I am finally on the road to recovery and almost back to 100%. Which means I’ve started analyzing and criticizing myself…  Why didn’t you take a sick day? One day off might mean that you would have been well 5 days earlier! Is anything more important than your health? Are you not a priority? Is it fair that you gave everything you had every day to work and came home to be a silent, unengaged wife? You haven’t worked out in over a week!

I know, I know, I am trying to be kind to myself, and it’s getting easier the better I feel. But, dammit, I know better! Next time I will take my own advice…

…QueenB Says

Lucky?

I am on the board of directors for the professional women's group at my company. We do things like bring in personal and professional development speakers and encourage and provide the opportunity for networking. It's a rewarding part of my corporate life that has allowed me to develop myself in many new ways and develop some strong friendships, that I know will be lifelong. I am lucky.

Or am I?

In this role, I get the opportunity to speak with and work with many amazing and accomplished women. I was on the phone with one who advises our group and others like ours. In the course of conversation she asked how things were going at my company overall. I answered energetically that things were going very well, we were exceeding numbers, the company was growing, our management team is bringing in new perks every day, and I was having the most fun... and I feel so lucky.

She said, "Betsy, can I offer you some coaching right now?". Of course, I responded affirmatively. Then she said some of the best advice I've received of late.

"You are not lucky. You made it happen. You are there because of what you do. Quit giving away the credit."

Wow.

That is so right on. Lucky insinuates that I have nothing to do with it, and that is far from the truth. I show up most days with my game face on, ready to play, and I work hard. I continue to put effort into developing my knowledge and skill set and I learn from my mistakes.

Once it was pointed out to me, I realized how much I say that I am lucky. I say it all the time, about all kinds of things. But in reality, I'm grateful. Time to stop giving away the credit to some twist of fate fairie or magic genie.

As much as I try, I still catch myself saying it. So if you hear me give the credit to my wish on a falling star, remind me that I'm grateful, not lucky...

...QueenB Says