Are You Kidding Me?

I am not in a good place today. I'm actually pretty angry and sad and frankly, beat down. Last Saturday, my husband and I were in a 7 car pile up. A whole lot of chaos is how I would describe it, but it came down to a truck that didn't stop and rear ended us. It was scary and violent, and luckily we both walked away unhurt. Now I have either another totalled car or one that will take 6-8 weeks to repair.

For the third time in 4 months I am dealing with a major insurance situation. The first was a head on collision in May, where a 19 year old girl ran a red light. The second was a burst pipe in the house that caused a lot of damage to 3 floors. And now... ugh.

I get that I am supposed to be thankful that we are okay, and I am.

I get that I need to focus on the really good things in my life, and I know I have a lot of good things.

I get that things are out of my control and I have to just deal with it as it comes, and I clearly am doing that.

But, I am PISSED!

Wow, it feels good to say that. And I'm just going to let myself feel that this time. I'll let you know when I'm back to normal...

...QueenB Says

What is Home?

When you are a child, home means your house. Once out of high school it is your hometown.  And as you get older, your home may become where you are most comfortable.

For years, "home" to me has been my parents house or Oklahoma. But recently, I have made a transition. I refer to "home" when talking about many places: home is of course my parents house, Oklahoma, Colorado, and my house in Lafayette.

Does that mean I'm growing up? I suppose so.

Home is not a place anymore, really. It's more about what I identify with. It's where I feel at ease. It's where I know exactly what to do and where everything is. It's where I recharge or feed the fire of inspiration. It's where I am comfortable and relaxed.

I love thinking about home in those terms. It expands the boundaries of what I can consider home. I feel all of those things in my career and at my workplace. I feel like that when I look pretty. I feel that when I am at brunch with my girlfriends. I feel like that when I am exercising. I feel like that when I spray on my favorite perfume. And I cannot wait until I feel that comfortable in my own skin all the time, and home is just with me, everywhere...

...QueenB Says

Fear, Schmear...

Growing up I never had a fear of flying. After college I had a job that was more than 50% travel and I flew all over the place. All of my jobs since then have required some travel. I moved far enough away from home that I have been required to fly back for several years. I did all of this with a lot of excitement and ease!

But, about 4 years ago I was on a bad flight. It was a little commuter jet that hit a ton of turbulence over Dallas and I've never been the same since. I have had to use a lot of techniques to get through flights since this happened: breathing, counting, drinking a cocktail, etc.

Well, I am happy to report that in the past year I have had several experiences with planes that have helped me manage and almost conquer this fear! Here's what I think helped and maybe some ideas for addressing fears in general:

1. Diving in. I rode in the cockpit. I got to see it all in action and see how you manage a plane. It's much more complex than driving, but still manageable for 1 or 2 people.

2. Asking questions. The pilots that I rode with answered my barrage of questions. I was honest about my fear of flying and they did not make me feel inferior or as if my questions were insignificant. And I asked a hundred. Maybe a few more.

3. Research. I was fortunate enough to tour an aircraft manufacturing plant last week. Are you kidding me? They test, double test, break things, try to break them again, research, and have hundreds of people working to make planes safe. I was thoroughly impressed. And trust me, I was looking for a reason to doubt the quality.

4. Trusting. If you ever get the chance to "feel" how the autopilot works, you should. It is instantaneously reactive to anything in the atmosphere. It's so fast that you hardly even feel it. Blew me away.

5. Appreciate. I took a chance to appreciate the innovation. We can fly. Say that out loud. Isn't that kind of cool? I took a chance to appreciate the convenience. I can get to Oklahoma in about an hour. I can be in Europe in 12 hours. That is freaking awesome. And I took a chance to appreciate the beauty. It's a totally different perspective. It's gorgeous up there...

...QueenB Says

Meet QueenB's Mom

The other day I had to sew a button on, something I learned to do from my mom. She made me a sewing kit when I left home at 18 with lots of stuff I would need, that I still have 15 years later. I needed black thread and as I pulled it out I had to laugh out loud at what I just noticed for the first time. She had written our last name along the top of the spool... AND just in case no one saw that, she had a sticker with our last name stuck to the inside of the spool. All of this to brand a $1 spool of thread! Growing up my mom wrote our name faithfully with black magic marker on EVERYTHING. School supplies, backpacks, clothing, shoes, and obviously spools of thread. She still labels all of her things today.

This is something that I learned from my mom that I don't embrace. In fact, I guess you can say that it is something that I rebel against for a couple of reasons. It devalues my things. I don't understand the concept of labeling things that are intended to stay in your house. If I leave the house with them, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to be able to hang onto it. Most of the things you would label are inexpensive so I tend to be okay if I lose or misplace something because then I can replace it with a NEW something. That's my recycling. I guess it caught me off guard and struck me as funny last week to notice that I have something in my house with my name clearly labeled on it for safe keeping. And I will keep this spool of thread forever because of it.

There is no doubt that my mom is a wonderful woman. She is sweet, smart, funny, pretty, good natured, giving, loving, and will kick your ass if she needs to. A lot of the woman I am today is due to my mom.

So this spool of thread got me to thinking about what my mom has taught me. And I can think of dozens, maybe hundreds, of things I learned. And only a few that I ultimately rejected, all of which are as insignificant as writing your name on your belongings. As a parent I suppose that is what you aim to do, raise a child you are proud of by sharing your wisdom and values and hope that you raise one that embraces them.

So thanks mom for sharing all the wonderful things with me. Here are the most useful things that I learned from my mom:

• Be nice to everyone. That is what makes you popular. The example she always gave was that you never knew how what you did might effect someones day or life. She would go back to high school reunions and have people she could not even remember comment "how wonderful it is to see one of the nicest people I knew back then".
• Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. This one I clearly took to heart.  She always dressed us well, bought me my first suit, and continues to hem and tailor my clothes.
• Stand up for what is right and fair. I still remember when she stood up to a creepo (she uses that word a lot) and he never bothered her or us again!
• Always fix your hair and makeup before you leave the house. Besides getting you in the right mental state to accomplish things, the few times I have not done this I always run into someone I know.
• Read. A lot. Being well read lets you hang in any conversation and usually lead it.
• Only boring people get bored. There is too much that life has to give for you to ever resort to being bored. Find something to inspire you.
• Say no with grace and compassion.
• A smile makes everyone prettier. :-)

Thanks, Mom...

...QueenB Says