It’s All About How Much You Eat

No one has ever told me I need to lose weight. I work out a lot and I tend to carry it well, so the scale just creeped up and up over the years and I didn’t do a lot about it. I didn’t really have any epiphany that I wanted to drop poundage, but instead made a few tweaks to my diet, saw some results and decided to keep going. I’m going to be totally 100% open about this… so here goes.

Last June I weighed 141 pounds. I’d probably weighed this for 5 years, so it wasn’t, like, a jolt into action or anything when I got on the scale one day. I’m 5’4, so this was heavier than I wanted to be, but I was still in a size 6 or 8 so it didn’t bother me too much. At this time, I had just run a half marathon, was training for another, was involved in a 3 day a week bootcamp, took 2-3 hip hop classes a week, and lifted 2-3 times a week. I mentioned to my bootcamp instructor, who is also a nutritionist, that the scale never moves, so she offered to take a look at my diet and make some suggestions. I wrote down EVERYTHING I ate or drank for 2 weeks and took it to her.

Pre nutritionist I would typically have an energy bar before I worked out in the morning, yogurt once I got in the office, salad or sandwich or wrap for lunch, a cottage cheese or cheese & crackers for a snack, a glass or 2 of wine, and dinner. The huz and I cook almost every night. He is a creature of habit and so am I, so we usually had pasta, tacos, Chinese, burgers, and pasta again throughout the week. A few times a week was a Mexican food splurge and a chai. Probably averaged about 2500 calories a day for me. I burned probably 500-800 everyday working out, so it was okay.

Nutritionist suggested just a few things.

• Cut out dairy. Because I carried some weight in my mid-section she thought I might be lactose intolerant.
• Quit the energy bars. She said it was like eating a candy bar every morning.
• Replace my morning food with fruit. As much as I wanted.
• Try to center my lunches around a vegetable, i.e. salad.
• Make my afternoon snack veggies and hummus or salsa.
• Only drink alcohol on the weekends.
• Dinners were already a nice variety, so that was okay the way it was, just make sure my total calorie count stayed under 2000.
• Note: To estimate what calorie count foods contain, just google whatever you are eating and there are lots of websites that will show you. If you are eating out, many restaurants will post on their websites.

So, I figured out my caloric intake need, just one of those calculators you find online, and decided to try 1800. I planned my fruit and snacks and lunch at the beginning of the week. And I continued to WRITE IT ALL DOWN. That is the most important part. Why? You realize how many calories things have and you start to bargain and trade off with yourself. Like this, “200 calories for a skinny chai? That’s like a snack and a glass of wine! Skipping the chai.” Or “A breakfast burrito has 250 calories? That means I can’t have sweet potato fries with my chicken wrap for lunch. No thank you.” And you’ll find things like “A salad at this restaurant has more calories than the cheeseburger? Medium with cheddar please.”

After a few months of this, I was losing weight and my clothes were loose. And I loved it. So I decided to set a goal weight and keep going.

I am not a doctor and this is not scientific, it’s just how I went about it. For the most part I had a healthy balance of food that was fruit and vegetable based. But some days you may find that you eat 2200 because you went to a birthday party and had wine, cheese, and cake. So cut it down a few hundred for a few days after that. If you have a really hard workout (like a 10 mile run when training) give yourself permission to increase the number. If you know you are going to your favorite Mexican restaurant for lunch and you HAVE to have a chimichanga and a margarita, make that your only meal for the day. If I am on vacation and I don’t write it down, whatev, it’s not like you gain 10 pounds over the course of 3 days. Don’t make it stressful or too restrictive, just let it balance itself out over the week where you are happy, healthy, and within your number.

I lost 14 pounds over the course of about 7 months. I am now at 127. I’ve been stuck here for about 3 months. I really want to be at 125. So, I’m readjusting my calorie number and increasing my caloric burn and hope to get there by this June. That would put me at my college weight. I am now in a size 4. Which is awesome. I love it and I am proud of it. It wasn’t a lot of work, just a few tweaks and paying attention. And time, it's not going to happen in a month. Okay?

My personal opinion is that it’s not so much about what foods you eat. I eat what I like. So get it out of your head that you have to cut carbs or fat or that you have to add wheat germ or carrot juice or whatever the latest fad diet says. I hate hearing “I eat FILL IN THE BLANK healthy food and don’t lose”…. Well, you ate too much of it. Okay?

It’s not about when you eat. You hear don’t eat after 7pm? That won’t matter if you ate 3000 calories before 7pm. Eat every 2-3 hours? Fine, if it makes you feel better. Just don’t eat 300 calories a pop 8 times a day.

It’s all about how much you eat.

And while you’re at it, work out. 5-6 times a week do something. Right now I average 8-9 hours of physical activity a week. That’s a lot and most people cannot make that happen (I don’t have kids). If you can average 5 you will only speed up your weight loss.

Moral of the story: It’s math. Figure out your number, document what you eat, stay under your number.

I’ll let you know when I get to 125. And if anyone tries this method, I’d love to hear how it goes. I’ll also answer any questions you may have. It’s all out there now, so I have nothing to hide!

...QueenB Says

Ask QueenB

Welcome to the first edition of “Ask QueenB”. I will try to be honest and helpful and nice… mostly.

Who has the best happy hour in Boulder?
You get 3 answers because I can’t narrow it down and there is a niche for each.

• Rio is always going to be one of my favorites. You cannot beat the margaritas… they are so good you have to wash THEM down with a burrito. Also, their queso is the best in town. 
• Aji has the best food specials in my opinion. You can get ceviche, guacamole, and empanadas for like $3 each. And the mojitos are the best I’ve ever had.
• Laudisio has moved up in my book with their new location. They have great small plates that are cheap. Their happy hour wine is hit or miss, but I ask to taste it and if it’s a miss I just order off the wine list. And they have a gorgeous pizza oven and hand tossed pizza dough and you get one for like $5 at happy hour.

Honorable mentions with reasons why they don’t make the top 3:

• The Med- wine and food choices are plentiful but too many Cougars hang out here and that attracts idiot dudes.  
• Boulder Brewery- such a great outdoor patio but they don’t have other beer options. Lame.  
• Jax- best martinis in town, but it’s too crowded at the bar.

I unfriended someone on Facebook, she asked me why. How do I tell her?

• This is tough. But, I’m glad you want to tell her instead of leaving her hanging. I don’t typically unfriend people, but instead hide them from my news feed. But for the readers, there is some back story here. This is a scenario where she has posted antagonistic political comments to you and your friends. Then you warned her. And she didn’t stop. So, you kind of had no choice. And really, she shouldn’t be surprised at your answer if you are honest. So tell her that she crossed a line and if she wishes to engage in civil conversation you are happy to have her as a friend. Then threaten to kick her. I threaten to kick people all the time and it works.

Who do you think killed JFK?

• It’s really easy to watch the Kevin Costner version of events and think that is the story. But, I am here to tell you what really happened. Jackie did it to get back at him for Marilyn. Then she married money and laid on a beach for 20 years. Brilliant.

What is the sexy/skanky cutoff for height of high heels?

• Answer for the ladies: Depends on what you are wearing with them. With pants, as long as you can walk in them and as long as your pants cover the heel it doesn’t really matter. With a knee length skirt for work, you may want to stop at 3 inches. But I don’t. With a short skirt or shorts I wouldn’t suggest going above 4 inches. But I have. It’s all about knowing how to walk in them.
• Answer for the men: Skanks wear clear heels, white heels, and thigh high boots. There are other ways to tell a skank, but this is a question about shoes.

What kind of ego does it take to name yourself QueenB?

• A healthy one.

Please post any questions here and I’ll do my best to answer them. Well, I’ll probably only answer the ones I want. But you get the idea…


...QueenB Says

The Point System

I'm pretty good at math, it is logical and helps you see order. My checkbook is always balanced to the penny. When I cook, everything is finished at exactly the same time. And I lost 15 pounds recently by approaching it like a math equation (I'll blog on that soon). So, it should be no surprise that I approach my clothing choices in the same way.

Now, I buy what I like and this post will talk about some of those individual choices. But the way I put them together is where the math comes in. Again, my mom taught me this (thanks mom!). She saw it in some book or magazine in the 70s and taught it to me in junior high. I've "counted" ever since.

The point of this excercise is to have a well put together look, a balanced outfit. You may have heard the advice, "Always take off one piece before you walk out the door". It's kind of like that (but you may find that you need to put on one piece before you walk out the door). I'll show you how it works with a few of the outfits I wore last week.

• 2 points  -  Button down shirt, it gets 2 because it is patterned
• 1 point    -  Pencil skirt, solid colored pieces get 1 point
• 1 point    -  Black peep toe heels, I don't like chunky heels and usually go with a stiletto.
• 2 points  -  Earrings, Jay got me these stunners for my birthday and I'm sorry you can't see them better, but you get 1 point per earring.
• 1 point    -  Watch
• 1 point    -  Ring, my gorgeous antique wedding ring
• 1 point    -  Bracelet
• 1 point    -  Glasses
• 1 point    -  Painted toe nails, it's called I'm With Brad... bought it because of the name.

Total count: 11 points

Commentary: I usually end up around 10 or 11 points for work and maybe 12 for casual/evening. There is no RIGHT number. It's what you feel comfortable in. But I think 10 is perfect for me, no pun intended. Pencil skirts are a staple in my wardrobe, I have them in several colors. They always look classy, they go with any type of shirt, and they raise the bar on the hot factor.

  

• 2 points  -  Cardigan, you get 2 because it is patterned remember. I LOVE this sweater, it has satin piping on the edges and makes me feel good.
• 1 point    -  Tank, some could argue it gets 2 points because of the lace edging, I wouldn't disagree.
• 1 point    -  Pencil skirt, yep another one
• 2 points  -  Necklace, this is a really bold piece that my friend Debbie made me. It's gorgeous and was the perfect accessory for my v-neck cardigan.
• 1 point    -  Bracelets
• 1 point    -  Watch
• 1 point    -  Ring
• 2 points  -  Brown faded to caramel peep-toe shoes, you can sort of see the fading color in the back.

Total count : 11 points

Commentary:  I got a lot of compliments this day. I felt great and it showed. That, my friends, is a great reason to dress well. Here's what happens- you look good, you feel better, people notice, they compliment you, you thank them, everyone gets a dose of happiness, you are making the world better. See? Save the world.

•  2 points  -  Button down shirt, this shirt is awesome and has amazing button and rope detailing down the front.
• 1 point    - Jeans, dark wash jeans make you look skinnier, boot cut jeans make you look taller, these are NOT mom jeans.
• 2 points  -  Brown and gold wedges, these were new and for an almost 5-inch shoe they were comfortable from 7am to 10pm... I swear.
• 2 points  -  Earrings, I can't see them and I don't remember what they were but I wouldn't have walked out the door without them in this outfit so 2 points it is.
• 1 point    - Watch
• 2 points  - 2 rings, I added a big topaz ring that was my Grandma Luceil's on my right hand.
• 1 point    - Bracelets
• 1 point    - Pashmina, that's a big scarf.

Total count: 12 points

Commentary: This was a no-meeting day and was my Friday (even though it was Thursday). I almost always wear denim on Friday's because I dress up so much during the week. There is a different feeling when I wear denim that gets me in the mindset to relax a little and go into the weekend on that note. If your clothes don't effect your mood, then you need better clothes.

• 1 point    -  White tank
• 1 point    -  Jeans, do I need to mention they are supposed to cover your heels? At most, they are an inch off the ground. Too short pants are a huge epidemic.
• 1 point    -  Brown blazer, nothing makes you look put together like a blazer. Make sure it's a little fitted. I rolled up the sleeves to give it a more casual look.
• 2 points  -  Brown and gold wedges, same ones as the day before.
• 2 points  -  Gold hoop earrings
• 1 point    -  Necklace, this one is awesome. It's a peacock feather with beads. New fave.
• 1 point    -  Cuff bracelet
• 1 point    -  Watch
• 1 point    -  Ring

Total count :  11 points

Commentary:  I wore this outfit traveling back to Oklahoma. It worked great in the airport and took me into hanging out with the niece and nephew, then to dinner with my parents. I could have worn this to work, a party, shopping, really almost anywhere. If you dress with "style" you can make an outfit work for lots of occasions.

WHY to dress well is a totally different post and I will take that on at some point. This is just one way of HOW to do it that has helped me. Things to remember:

1. A good rule of thumb is to start with 3 pieces. A shirt, skirt/pants, jacket/scarf/cardigan.  It is a great base to creating a good ensemble. You'll get a good 3-5 points out of this.
2. You must add accessories. You'd never give a present without a bow on it or a card with it, right? This is how you pull it all together.  
3. If your clothing is solid colors or fairly plain, add pizzazz with shoes or jewelry. Once you figure out your "number" then you know how MUCH you need to add.
4. In general, if you are a 6-8 you need to do a little something extra. If you go into the mid-teens, you may want to consider toning it down. With that said, you have to take into account what makes you FEEL comfortable too and if your personality dictates that you need to be more elegant, then 8 it is. If your personality is bubbly and fun and you want to show that, then 15 could work.

The Point System does use the left and right sides of your brain. Good, it will make you smarter. And looking good is just the bonus. Would love to hear your thoughts and hear what your number is (not THAT number though, okay?).

Good luck...

... QueenB Says

Things An 8 Year Old Can Teach You

A few weeks ago, I had to have a difficult conversation and I was struggling with what to say. So in a moment of pure genius (I realized later), I asked my 8 year old nephew how he would deal with the issue. He had surprisingly very good advice. I asked him to role play the scenario with me, where he was me and I was the person I needed to confront. He was honest, straightforward, and compassionate. I used his advice.

When I was visiting last weekend, I decided to interview him to see what other pearls of wisdom he would give. He was brilliant.

I hope you enjoy this post on “Things an 8 year old can teach you”.

Loyalty

• Me: Carson, what is your favorite color?
• Carson: Red and Blue.
• Me: Why?
• Carson: Red because of OU and Blue because of Newcastle

Common sense

• Me: What are your favorite sports?
• Carson: Football, baseball, and basketball.
• Me: Why are the balls all shaped the way they are?
• Carson: Well, it would be hard to hit a football with a bat and you can’t dribble a baseball or football.

Discretion

• Me: Have you ever kissed a girl?
• Carson: Uh… no.
• Me: Have you ever wanted to kiss a girl?
• Carson: Why are you asking that?!? Uh… no, not… no… not yet.

Priorities

• Me: What super power would you choose?
• Carson: BIG Brains

Frugality

• Me: If I gave you $1000, what would you do with it?
• Carson: Save it until I get to $1 million.

Optimism

• Carson: Aunt B, I’ve never been tagged out in baseball.
• Me: How many of the other’s have? None.

Humor

• Carson: Aunt B, what do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
• Me: I don’t know.
• Carson: Nacho cheese.

See? Brilliant...

...QueenB Says

The Art of Saying No

Saying no makes us nervous and uncomfortable. Some people do things they would rather not do or play the "avoid the person" game far too often, when just saying no would be easier, save time, and be nicer.

Reasons to say no:

• You should do things you WANT to do.
• You should do things you HAVE TIME to do.
• You should do things with PEOPLE you enjoy being around.
• You should only GO PLACES you want to go.
• And most importantly, you should only do things you feel COMFORTABLE doing.

I was lucky enough to get this advice a very long time ago from my wonderful, classy, sweet mother and now I am going to share it with you.

The advice was originally passed on as a way to say no to a guy who approached you in some way and you didn't want to take him up on the offer. However formally or informally they ask... it works. It goes like this:
     "Would you like to go get coffee/dinner?"
     "Can I get your number?"
     "Can I buy you a drink?"

You say: 
     "I am so flattered that you would ask! I'm so sorry I can't take you up on it right now."

Here's how I break it down:
     "I am so flattered that you would ask!"  -  This is your complimentary statement. And honestly, you SHOULD be flattered. They think you are wonderful enough in some way to ask. It takes a lot to get up the guts to even ASK and you should be respectful of it.

     "I'm so sorry I can't take you up on it..."  -  This is your NO.

     "...right now."  -  This is where you leave them with their ego intact. Even if you never intend to take them up on it, SAY THIS. It's polite and lets them walk away without embarrassment.

This 3 part response works in a lot of social scenarios.
     "I'd like to invite you to a party I'm having."
     "That sounds like so much fun! We're going to be out of town, but have a wonderful party and I hope to join you next time."

     "We're all going out after work, are you coming?"
     "Thanks for letting me know! I can't make it today, but have a marg for me!"

     "Would you be able to put together this presentation for me?"
     "I can share with you a few I've had in the past, but I'm not going to be able to fit in a complete rewrite for you by next week. This will get you started though."

Don't spend any more time doing things you don't want to do or don't have time to do. Don't string someone along. Don't burn a bridge by being rude. Don't waste your energy avoiding or ignoring someone. Just say your no early and directly. I promise it works.

I've used this 3 part response a lot in my 33 years and I know it will continue to come in handy. This is my formal and public THANK YOU to my mom for giving me this tool and making my life a lot easier...

...QueenB Says

Cool...

I am lucky enough to be back home for my Grandpa's 80th birthday.  He has lived a full life and has many stories to tell, and I know I've only heard a small portion of them. He's willing to sit and talk longer and I try to ask more questions. I hope I hear a few more good ones today!

He is a man's man.
He is tall and proud.
He says more with a raise of the eyebrown than most people say in many words.
As my dad said this morning, "Through this whole birthday extravaganza, as we have sent pictures and everyone has talked, I keep hearing the same word --- cool."
He is cool...

...QueenB Says

T & A

I love clothes. Truly, getting dressed in the morning is fun for me. I pride myself on knowing what works for me and putting the total package together. But before you put on your clothes, you put on your under garments. And is it equally important to get that right.

With this topic I think it will be easier to point you in the right direction by giving you some no-no's.

Let's start with the "girls". There are 2 of them, and by them I mean boobs. Refrain from either the "uniboob" or "quadraboob".

Uniboob. Uniboob occurs when your bra creates the illusion that your boobs are shaped like a watermelon across your chest. Most commonly caused by a sports bra or shelf tank. You are allowed uniboob when working out... that is it.

Quadraboob. Quadraboob occurs when your bra is too small and there is an indentation between the top half of your boob and the bottom half, which creates “4 boobs”. Quit lying to yourself about your size and get a bigger bra.

Nude does not mean invisible. Don’t let your bra show. Ever. They make backless bras if you buy a shirt like this. This is horrendous!

Bra straps. Don’t let your bra strap show. Ever. You can buy a cool little clasp that hooks your straps together in the back to keep them in. Or you can wear a strapless bra. In a pinch, I’ve even used a paperclip to hook them together in the back. Nothing screams WT louder than your strap hanging out!

Back rolls. This unsightly buldge occurs when your bra is too tight around your back and your back bacon spills over the top. Just get a bigger bra. Please.

Tips:

1.  Your boobs should hit halfway between your elbows and your shoulders (thank you Clinton Kelly). I will give you a minute to go look in the mirror... okay.

2.  Go get a fitting from someone proper. The nice lady at Nordstrom’s always knows what she is doing. She’ll even let you cry in the dressing room when you find out you are relegated to ugly bras because you are a DD.

3.  Get a strapless bra if you need it. Get a nude bra to wear under light colors.

Now the butt. I have fewer complaints about this, but want to address a few big no-no's.

VPL. VPL's are the devil. This stands for Visible Panty Line. Figure it out. Either get bigger pants, wear spanks, get a thong, I don’t care. Just figure it out.

Unibutt. The unibutt is a fast growing epidemic in the older generations. This is where your butt looks like you have one butt cheek instead of two. I have Spanks, this is different. I honestly don’t know what is the cause and I hope I never have to find out. It is like diaper-panties or something! If there is a medical reason you need to have this type of undergarment, then you need to stick to a-line skirts.

Camletoe.  Again, mostly a problem when you are wearing workout clothing. The camletoe can best be described and cured by visiting this site. My friend Shannon, started Camleflage just for this issue. Go fix it. Since there is now a solution, this time you don't get a hall pass when working out.

If you try to argue with me on why you can commit one of these fashion sins, you will lose. This public service announcement brought to you by QueenB.  You're welcome...

...QueenB Says

Five

Five. That is the number of zits I have on my chin right now.

I am 33 and put together and CLEAN. I use expensive soap on my face twice a day. One of those times is with a face brush. I exfoliate at least twice a week. I do a cleansing mask at least once. I moisturize excessively. I have one kind for my face, two for my eyes, and another for my lips. My eye routine consists of a smoothing cream for morning before makeup and another for night for my dark circles. I do this entire process twice a day. And this is just for my FACE. So, why am I breaking out like a 15 year old!?! It’s even making me act a little bratty!

So, here’s what I am going to do.

1. Pull my concealer out of my purse and paint it on before I walk out of the office.

2. Spend my lunch break in a pedicure chair. (I’m getting an American polish if anyone is curious).

3. Work from home this afternoon so I can wash my face, put on my Peter Thomas Roth cream, and use my tube of Neosporin relentlessly.

No one look at me! Just send Proactiv...  

...QueenB

Inaugural Post of QueenB Says

I have been thinking about blogging for some time now. Many of my favorite people blog, and part of the reason they are my favorite people is because they are open, funny, intelligent, and challenge me in some way. So I am introducing “QueenB Says” and, for the record, I have no freaking idea what this will be about.

I’ve thought about writing on what happens to me day to day. Recent things I might pontificate on are:
· Desperately needing coffee when my corporate headquarters moved to a new location and they didn’t have any. While knowing that I have NEVER had coffee at the office before. Why was I such a brat about it?

I've thought about writing on things I find interesting. Examples would be:
· My favorite words and why. Why is usually something like- my friends say it, I watched the movie 32 times, or it makes me sound smart. For example, “heinous” is one I totally stole from Ashley. “Totally” is one I picked up from the ingenious movie Clueless. “Ingenious” makes me sound smart.
· Why am I a fan of Twilight? This is not just because the dudes are H.O.T. btw.

· The most overused phrases in corporate America. Listing detailed descriptions of how I have used those in work conversation. “The purpose of this meeting is to BRAINSTORM new ideas. THINK OUTSIDE OF THE BOX. INNOVATE.”

I’ve thought about making this an “advice column” based on things I notice that people need advice on. What you may need advice on:
· Wearing crocs, Uggs, mom jeans, a “Texas Tuxedo”, or showing your muffin top.
· Saying something inappropriate. Such as the dude that commented on my rack in a business setting last week. For real people.
· General stupidity in public: not knowing how to stand in a line (you know those people that stand one step to the left or right and one step too close?), having a bad car so when playing your music too loud you draw even more attention to it (total tools that live in my neighborhood), or sitting at the drive thru for too long after you’ve paid and received your food (I’m effing hungry after a 2.5 hour dance class!).

I’ve also thought about making this a picture blog with commentary on what I wear every day. I would find this really interesting. So would my mom. And if I’m put-together enough then maybe someday I can hang out with Clinton Kelly! I can see why other people would find this less interesting though.

(Typical work outfit, with hotter than normal shoes)

(Dinner out in Boulder)

(This is a Halloween costume with my dad's awesome shirt from the 70's)

So, it likely will be a combination of the above.

What you can expect for sure: I’m opinionated, but open-minded. Simple, yet sophisticated. Pretty, and average. And high-maintenance, as well as work hard. You may like what I say or not. And if you don’t, you can tell me and I’ll probably partly agree. But I’ll come up with an unrelated, superficial reason why your opinion is irrelevant because that is how I get through life with my self esteem intact...

...QueenB Says